Your Resume

Losing a child to death can be the most devastating emotion a human being is likely to feel.  It is difficult to describe and even more difficult to understand by one who has not felt it.  “Time Heals” maybe true for other wounds but not this one.  Others may feel sad for you but cannot quite comprehend your pain.

“When a child dies, a part of the self is cut off.”  Actually when a child dies, a part of you dies; you can never be the same again: not like you were before and never like others.  The pain never dims; you just learn to live without making it apparent; without making it a predominant theme in your life.  But it is as surely there as a shadow that shows up every now and then.  I have been waiting 14 years for the pain to abate…………

Does anyone ever really recover from the loss of a child?  We do recover from the loss of other loved ones: loss of parents we expect naturally, the shock and loss of a partner wears off stemming from the knowledge/rational that one of the two always goes first, loss of friends and siblings can be taken in one’s stride and substituted by others.  But even another child does not make up for the child lost.  Does the difference derive from the fact of having given birth to this individual?  I do not know.

Men and women have different styles of coping, I was told; women are more open and willing to cry and talk about their pain while men tend to internalize the sorrow.  I found I could not bring myself to talk about the loss at all.  After a couple of years, my husband could reminisce and casually mention him in conversation where I simply did not or could not.  Writing had always come easy to me but this was one topic I desisted from addressing…….even up until today.

It was even more difficult to look at my little boy’s clothes and other things because there were so many memories attached.  I simply could not stand them around so I packed them all and gave them away to my sister who had a boy almost the same age.  I only could not part with his footwear (the child who could not walk in the last months of his life!!); and those remained with me till we moved out of the house we had lived in.  A couple of years ago, I saw his clothes with my sister, and he just seemed to come back in them.  I took these back and have kept them carefully now.  Time does change things after all: what I could not bear to look at for the pain it caused at one time, did become bearable after 10 or so years had elapsed.

In the first year after he died, I would often ask myself, “What is the meaning to the loss?”  I wanted to make sense of his death.  I had to find a reason, a meaning to it, or else I felt his short life would have been in vain.  The question became even more important because his life had never had any future while he lived or had he lived longer.  He was a special child, you see; mentally retarded caused by infantile epilepsy triggered by vaccinations.  He required constant care and while he did eventually learn to walk and speak a few words, I was always with him, day and night, most often knowing his needs even before he realized them.  Since he had no speech, I had fully attuned myself to him; and I found my older son, who was not even 10 years old then, had developed the same sensitivity to his younger brother’s needs.

After his death, all those around me had some suggestion or the other about how I should make use of my time now that I suddenly found myself with nothing to do.  Seven years of 24X7 around a single entity catering to his every unspoken need……it felt like I had just got off a roller coaster ride and everything was disoriented and confused.  It was winter, and I remember till today how chilled I used to feel almost to the bones in a geographical area known for its non-existent winters.

And in my mind, the refrain would go on: how can this be?  I cannot simply go back to doing what everyone does (working in an office or being a housewife) and behave as if he never existed.  How can his short life make a difference?  And slowly it dawned on me that seven years with a special child had equipped me to handle other special children.  I remembered how I had searched high and low for various resources, including special educators and other professionals to help me.  So many others would be doing the same even as I was sitting and moping my loss.  The answer stared me in the face: I had to do what the past seven years had equipped me to do….I had to stand up and be included among the professionals who populated the field of special needs.  And to do so, my practical experience had to be supplemented with professional credentials.  I applied to a leading institute that trained professionals in the field of mental health and armed them with diplomas that would legitimately authorize them to help children with special needs; and I convinced the decision makers to admit me in spite of being on the wrong side of the age limit.

The 18 months I spent in the classroom with theory and practical work opened up vistas of learning that I soaked up eagerly as it complemented my personal experiences.  I understood the various aspects all too well and better than my peers who were fresh graduates with hardly any experience of real life problems.  Combined with my strong language skills, it came as no surprise to anyone that I topped my class.  I was now ready to make my place among the extremely limited group of people working effectively in the area of special needs.

In the last 14 years, I have played the entire gamut of roles.  I have consulted with NGOs and helped set up facilities for special children; I have interviewed and compiled data on parents and children who frequent physiotherapy centers to identify those with special needs and counsel them accordingly; I have facilitated the development of vocational training in marketable talents and products for teenagers with special needs; and I continued to provide free counseling and home-based educational /developmental programs to parents across the spectrum.

Most importantly, I managed all aspects of a special school set up in my house that focused on providing critical skills related to language, math, and social skills to educable mentally challenged children in the age group of 8 years to 20 years.  I imbibed the latest global trends from the net and attended relevant courses wherever I found access to them, and I trained the teachers who helped me so that we were giving the children the best in the field at all times.  Further, I developed methods and systems out of my own experiences with these children.  It was not so much what I was teaching them as what I was learning myself that had to be taught so that they could learn a particular skill in a particular manner.  For instance, the lack of physical exercise and the resultant effect on the body combined with their extreme enthusiasm for dancing gave birth to the idea of having a dance teacher.  The results were there for all to see when the group learned enough to stage an evening of entertainment for family and friends.  The tears of gratitude of parents and siblings who had never dreamed of seeing their special kin on stage were one thing; the resulting high motivation to make efforts for the next show and the spillover of confidence into their academic and social skill areas was an eye opener for me.

To cut it short, the school was a huge success.  The parents became partners in progress, and I became content with the knowledge that my son’s life had sowed the seeds of it all.  Today, circumstances have dictated that I move on to more remunerative fields; I can no longer support the school on my own resources.  A new chapter in my life is unfolding with new challenges and new rewards.  I look back in satisfaction and know that one day I will reenter the domain of special needs.  My learning and experience remain as treasures with me that I will share again…….one day.

When I lost my son, I needed to fathom the depths of my grief and learn what this thing called grief was all about.  Fourteen years later I think I know.  I reiterate what I said earlier: Losing a child to death can be the most searing emotion a human being is likely to feel.  It is difficult to describe and even more difficult to understand by one who has not felt it.  Maybe “Time Heals” other wounds but not this one.  Others may feel sad for you but cannot quite comprehend your pain.

But there are palliatives; and each one affected by this malady has to find his own.  I found mine in the company of children similar to my son; today I continue to reach out to other parents through websites, and in stepping out of the shadow of my sadness, I am also able to continue healing myself.  “Investing oneself in activities that give meaning to the loss helps alleviate the pain and aids in building a new life that would keep the memory alive and well in our hearts and, I am certain, make our children proud.”  Try it….it may also work for you as it did for me.

Learning Disability

What is Learning Disability (LD)?

1. Definition:

• A learning disability is a neurological disorder arising out of ineffective or hampered processing of information in the brain.
• LD refers to a group of disorders that affect a broad range of academic and functional skills, including the ability to speak, listen, read, write, spell, reason, and organize information.
• The ability-achievement discrepancy refers to a discrepancy between a child’s apparent capacity to learn and his or her level of achievement. 
• A learning disability is not indicative of low intelligence.  Indeed, research indicates that some people with learning disabilities may have average or above-average intelligence.  But they may have difficulty reading, writing, spelling, reasoning, recalling, and/or organizing information if left to figure things out by themselves or if taught in conventional ways.
• A learning disability can’t be cured or fixed; it is a lifelong issue. With the right support and intervention, however, children with learning disabilities can succeed in school and go on to successful, often distinguished careers later in life.
• Parents can help children with learning disabilities achieve such success by encouraging their strengths, knowing their weaknesses, understanding the educational system, working with professionals, and learning about strategies for dealing with specific difficulties.

2.       Common learning disabilities:

• Dyslexia – a language-based disability in which a person has trouble understanding written words.  It may also be referred to as reading disability or reading disorder.
• Dyscalculia – a mathematical disability in which a person has a difficult time solving arithmetic problems and grasping math concepts.
• Dysgraphia – a writing disability in which a person finds it hard to form letters or write within a defined space.
• Auditory and Visual Processing Disorders – sensory disabilities in which a person has difficulty understanding language despite normal hearing and vision.
• Nonverbal Learning Disabilities – a neurological disorder which originates in the right hemisphere of the brain, causing problems with visual-spatial, intuitive, organizational, evaluative, and holistic processing functions.

3.       Symptoms:

• Difficulty with basic reading and language skills are the most common learning disabilities.
• Exhibits an imperfect ability to listen, think, speak, read, write, spell, or do mathematical calculations.
• Deficits are manifest in one or two areas while performing at or above the average in other areas.
• Other disabilities such as mental retardation, autism, deafness, blindness, and behavioral disorders may cause learning disabilities.  Attention disorders, such as Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and learning disabilities often occur at the same time, but the two disorders are not the same.

4.       Causes:

• Genetic: Learning disabilities often run in families.
• Brain Deficit: A discrepancy in the brain that affects the processing of information.

What is the norm for effective processing of information?

Learning takes place owing to the following sequence of events [Larry B. Silver, M.D. http://www.ldonline.org/article/5821]:

a         Input: the brain gets information primarily from the eyes and the ears.  Once this information has arrived, the brain needs to make sense out of it, a process called integration.

b        Next, the information is stored and later retrieved, the memory process.

c         Output: the brain sends some kind of message back to the nerves and muscles

Deficit in any of these processes creates a different type of learning disability; such as:

i           Visual perceptual disability

ii         Auditory perceptual disability

iii        Disabilities with input from the other senses: tactile, smell and taste

iv       Integration disabilities (relating to either sequencing and/or abstraction)

v         Memory disability (Short-term memory or Long-term memory)

vi       Motor disabilities (Gross and fine motor skills)

5.       Management:

Early intervention is advocated.  It is imperative to get professional help to ascertain where the hampered functioning is coming from. 

Poor academic achievement can be addressed with a variety of interventions.  Practice is a particularly important component in developing competence, regardless of the starting point. Children who start out with a weakness in a basic skill, such as reading, may miss out on the necessary practice because of the need to catch up with their chronological age peers. Thus a small weakness can snowball into a larger problem.

Interventions include:

• Mastery model where learners work at their own level of mastery; they practice and move onto the next level only after gaining fundamental skills.
• Direct Instruction includes highly structured, intensive instruction with emphasis on carefully planned lessons for small learning increments.  Scripted lesson plans and interaction between teacher and students to correct mistakes immediately; achievement-based grouping and frequent progress assessments.
• Classroom adjustments; special equipment; and special Education are other management modes.

It has been argued that early remediation can greatly reduce the number of children meeting diagnostic criteria for learning disabilities.  However, undue emphasis on academic success should be compensated with all-round development; success in one area often spills over into other areas.

References:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learning_disabilities

http://www.ldonline.org/ldbasics/whatisld

WHAT IS SPECIAL NEEDS?

Special Needs is a term used to describe individuals who require assistance to manage disabilities.  The handicap reflected in clinical diagnostic and functional development may be medical, mental, or psychological.  The term refers to a diagnosis based on behavior, childhood, and/or family history, and is usually made by a healthcare professional.  Persons with Autism, Down syndrome, developmental delays, blindness, and cystic fibrosis are some examples of special needs.  [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special_needs]

While we will limit the scope of this article to cover only children with special needs, “Special Needs” is an umbrella that encompasses a wide array of diagnoses; it may include mild learning disabilities or profound mental retardation; food allergies or terminal illness; developmental delays that catch up quickly or remain entrenched; occasional panic attacks or serious psychiatric problems; and so many more.  The term is useful for getting needed services, setting appropriate goals, and gaining understanding for a child and the stressed family.

When a child is not able to perform in some manner, the term “Special Needs” crops up.   Milestones unmet, foods banned, activities avoided, and experiences denied all indicate a functional inability and consequent lost potential.  There is however, no single, uniform method to address the issues related to these inabilities.  The needs of each special child are different and unique to that child alone since they are based on the particular combination of problems that that child may have.  The combination of problems may include one or more aspects related to medical, behavioral, developmental, learning, and/or mental health issues.

Medical Issues for children include serious conditions like cancer and heart defects, muscular dystrophy and cystic fibrosis; chronic conditions like asthma and diabetes; congenital conditions like cerebral palsy and dwarfism; and health threats like food allergies and obesity.

Behavior Issues include negative responses to traditional methods of discipline among children with ADHD, Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, Dysfunction of Sensory Integration, and Tourette syndrome, among others.

Developmental disabilities are linked with autism, Down syndrome and mental retardation and often cause children to be removed from the mainstream.

Learning Issues are related to learning disabilities among children with dyslexia and Central Auditory Processing Disorder who struggle with schoolwork regardless of their intellectual abilities.

Mental Health Issues refer to a child’s problems with anxiety or depression.

Common Concerns:

While every special-needs child is different and requires an individualized program, there are some common concerns that have to be addressed by their care givers.  The concerns relate to independence in daily living, specialized learning strategies to realize the full potential of the child, solving behavioral difficulties, and so many more.  http://specialchildren.about.com/od/gettingadiagnosis/p/whatare.htm

Managing a child with special needs is a collaborative effort of the parent/s and professionals like special educators, counselors, physiotherapists, and occupational therapists, among others.  Undoubtedly, the parent, being the mainstay of the child and the one with whom the child spends maximum time, bears the full impact of the new, unfamiliar responsibility.  The professionals may advise, guide, demonstrate, and aid in the handling process but it is the parent who has to walk the talk while also coming to terms with his/her own emotional baggage which may comprise guilt, nervousness, resistance, anger, and the why-me syndrome, to name just a few from among a wide gamut of emotions.

Some milestones that all parents of children with special needs will cross:

Acceptance: Typically, children are viewed as an extension of the parent, “my child will be like me.”  But a special needs child throws that notion out of the window.  Not only is the child different (so that most of the parenting techniques and beliefs one has seen in one’s childhood and in the family while growing up do not apply) but the situation mandates new learning.  It also warrants the acceptance that the child is a new and different person for whose upbringing you will have to do things differently.  The unknown is scary; so the process of acceptance is facilitated by and gathering as much information on the special condition of the child as you can lay your hands on while constantly acknowledging and affirming your love for your child.

Getting a hold on the true picture: Understand minutely what the diagnosis and prognosis for your child is.  This may require ‘shopping’ for specialists and experts as well as reading books and browsing the net.  Don’t be afraid to question and keep searching till you know exactly what it is that you are handling here.  Being forearmed is the key to effectively addressing the gamut of issues that may crop up.  Once all the data is in hand, you can choose to select from it to create your own baseline for the care and development of your child.  You are the one who will decide what is best for him/her.

Modifying things around the special needs:  Once the game plan is set so to say, you balance the responsibilities between what you can provide and where you will allow specialists to help you.  You cannot do everything; so a healthy balance will serve the purpose better that trying to stretch yourself or relinquishing completely to the professionals.  As a parent, you know your child best and understand his needs better than anyone else.  Do not hesitate to speak up if you are doubtful about a therapy or feel that something is not working for the child.  Expect the best from the professionals helping you; never compromise.  Additionally, formulate short-term goals that are easy to achieve both for you and the child; this keeps up the self confidence and is self motivating too.

Earlier the intervention, the better the progress: It is most advisable that the above be put into action as soon as possible because there is absolutely no doubt that the sooner one starts providing special, child-centered interventions, the better the chances of progress.  There is no time to lose.  Those who spend years in hoping for a miracle or shopping for the medical professional who will offer the miracle cure are simply losing time in providing interventions.  In the process, wrong skills and habits take root that sometimes become impossible to improve/change.  A special needs child is like a new blank page; any and every mark is indelible; so choose carefully what is written on it.

For all the herculean efforts put in and the heart-breaking days and nights when nothing seems to go right, the following lines will still ring true for every such parent:

A meeting was held quite far from Earth!

It’s time again for another birth.

Said the Angels to the LORD above,

This Special Child will need much love.

His progress may be very slow,

Accomplishments he may not show.

And he’ll require extra care

From the folks he meets down there.

He may not run or laugh or play,

His thoughts may seem quite far away,

In many ways he won’t adapt,

And he’ll be known as handicapped.

So let’s be careful where he’s sent,

We want his life to be content.

Please LORD, find the parents who

Will do a special job for you.

They will not realize right away

The leading role they’re asked to play,

But with this child sent from above

Comes stronger faith and richer love.

And soon they’ll know the privilege given

In caring for their gift from Heaven.

Their precious charge, so meek and mild,

Is HEAVEN’S VERY SPECIAL CHILD.

A child with special needs demands much from the caregiver in terms of patience, courage, faith, optimism, sheer determination…….in a scenario that very often offers no future.  It takes a lot to keep in mind that the journey is of an essence in this role assigned to you; not the destination.  And keep up the spirit by connecting with others playing a similar role.

Do you think using big words, or complex sentences, makes you sound smart?

Effective writing is one of the keys to professional success.

Many situations warrant the act of writing.  Every time you write, one can presume that there is a message you want to get across.  No matter what the content may be or what audience it may target, there are some features inherent to good writing that are mandatory.  The underlying premise is that every reader is pressed for time and every reader appreciates a well-crafted piece of writing.  But what comprises ‘a well-crafted piece of writing?’

1. Visual Appeal: clean document, uncluttered look promoted by headings and/or subheadings that reveal outline so that the reader can easily access relevant data.
2. Short simple sentences (lucidity) vs. wordiness: Short sentences help reduce the risk of grammatical errors and are easier to read. [If you keep your sentences short, you reduce the risk of grammatical errors. If you do that, your articles will be easier to read.]
3. Error-free document: Punctuations, Grammar
4. Structured Document: that which leads to a conclusion that is made clear right in the start

If writers understand how readers read and how they make sense of a document and they are able to use these familiar tools, half the battle is won! To that end, it is necessary to understand:

What does not constitute good writing:

1. Wordiness:

Most readers can read but they choose not to; i.e., most readers don’t read a document from beginning to end in one sitting.  Therefore, one must write in a manner that helps readers access the key ideas or the information they need at a glance.  Use appropriate para breaks, headings in bold, sub headings, and other such means to highlight the main ideas.  Also, ask the question: Is every word used absolutely necessary and appropriate to the topic in hand?  Why:

The month of May

The color red

Excessive verbiage can result from adding too much information.  The writer sometimes gets so attached to what he has written that he cannot see the portions that are not relevant.

1. Pronouns with no noun referent:

The use of pronouns that have no noun referents make text confusing; these are unnecessary and can be deleted/reworded.  For instance:

It is clear from the data that when birds are introduced into an environment, the bug population decreases.

We can rewrite this sentence to eliminate the unnecessary pronoun:

The data clearly show that when birds are introduced into an environment, the bug population decreases.

In the rewritten sentence, the data is emphasized, and the sentence is clearer and the writer can more easily find and get the point. Notice that the meaning is the same; the changes have only made the sentence more concise and have emphasized what’s important: the data.

1. Changing verbs into nouns:

When perfectly good verbs are turned into nouns, the writing becomes unnecessarily wordy and weak (less impact).  Use active verbs always:

We should take into consideration the number of species in this area.   Can be better written as:

We should consider the number of species in the area.

Let’s look at another example:

The recent proposal has helped us make progress toward revamping our policies.

In this sentence, because the writer has changed the real verb into a noun, the sentence necessarily contains two verbs: the “real” one (“progress”), which has been changed into a noun, and another one the writer has been forced to add (“make”). We can rewrite this:

The recent proposal has helped us progress toward revamping our policies.

In the second sentence, we can shorten the sentence and make it more emphatic by using the real verb and using only one, rather than two, verbs.

1. Use of personal voice:

Make the writing independent of the writer as much as possible.  Do not use “I” or “You.” 

Example of personal voice:

The US Space Program involving manned trips to space has always interested me. Since the earliest days of the Mercury launches I have been an avid follower of all of the successes and tragedies that have taken place. One of this program’s greatest success stories has been the Shuttle program, but it has also had its share of tragedies. For me, one of the worst moments in history was the loss of the Space Shuttle Challenger, which exploded 73 seconds after liftoff, killing seven astronauts and setting the shuttle program back for years. The goal of my paper is to investigate the short and long term effects that this tragedy had upon school age children in both the US and abroad.

Academic (impersonal) voice:

Since the late 1950s, the US Space Program has been sending men and women into space. These missions into space: their drama, successes, and tragedies; have interested people around the country and around the world since the earliest days of the Mercury program.

On April 12, 1981, the US Space Program launched the Space Shuttle Columbia, ushering in a new era of space travel. This program, while very successful, has had its share of tragedies. On September 9, 1986, the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded 73 seconds after launch, killing seven astronauts and setting the shuttle program back for years. The goal of this paper is to investigate the short and long term effects that this tragedy had upon school age children in the US and abroad.

Note the differences in these two. The personal voice makes the writing sound very much like a statement of personal belief or opinion, which may be guided as much by emotion and enthusiasm as it is by facts. The use of the impersonal voicing lends a more authoritative quality to the writing and lessens the sense of emotional involvement between the topic and the author that a reader might infer.

The statements in the academic version also contain a bit more information, and a little less in the way of statements of absolutes. In using the more formal and impersonal voice, one tends to write and think more formally and choose the wording more carefully.

Individuals tend to write like they speak and that means writing in a more personal and informal way. But, to write a good paper in the working world, one needs to become experienced in writing in a formal and impersonal fashion.

1. Errors with homonyms tend to occur very commonly with the following words:

there vs. their (and, to a lesser extent, they’re)

it’s vs. its

than vs. then

affect vs. effect

to vs. too (and, to a lesser extent, two)

1. Using synonyms without understanding them:

While the words may be related, the meaning may be different.  Example: SECRET, SECLUDED, AMBIGUOUS

1. Making Broad or All-Encompassing Statements & Statements without Support

As everyone knows…

This event affected everyone in the world

Any statement made in one’s writing should be supportable.

Also, one should NEVER ask a question in one’s writing without answering it.

Summary

Write clear, coherent, and effective documents; you will surely get the desired response.

Happiness has often been described as a state of mind: “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” [1] In my 50+ years of walking this earth, I have found that some people are naturally inclined to be happy in any circumstance. Their genetic code, as it were, is wired towards ‘positive thinking.’ Being happy comes easy to them, much to the envy of their depressed fellow beings.

So does this mean that ‘either you have it or you don’t;’ and nothing can be done about it? Once again experience reveals that this is not so; being happy is a habit that can be cultivated.

And how do habits come about?

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

So the first task is to watch your thoughts: are they negative, accusative, repetitive, detrimental, judgmental, procrastinating, and the like? If yes, the choice of words would be in the same vein. Such persons will be found making statements like:

What is there in life to be happy about?

Life is serious business, why do you laugh?

There is virtue in sobriety.

And the actions that follow take the same hue: stern, abstemious, ascetic, grim, staid, and so on.

Repeated actions make for habits; and a bunch of habits define the person’s character. And who is to say if character makes destiny or vice versa?

So to come back to where we started: how to nurture a happy frame of mind?

Begin with watching your thoughts. If a negative mind set has been entrenched, start with making the effort to notice the good, happy, beautiful things in life. It can be as simple as the beautiful sunrise or chirping of birds at dawn or the unsullied green of budding leaves on a tree or the light breeze that caresses your cheek or the tune of a long forgotten but once loved song or a happy memory…………The list could be endless; but initially it’s an effort to notice such things as there is so much in life that we take for granted; and what begins as an effort, soon becomes a happy habit [2]:

“Look for the stars; you’ll say that there are none;

Look up a second time, and, one by one,

You mark them twinkling out with silvery light,

And wonder how they could elude the sight!”

If simply noticing is too transitory for you, pen down these things. And it will come as a surprise that the list keeps growing – and a happiness-inspiring object or event once noticed will remain in your conscious mind always after that. For instance, once I become aware of a pair of bluebirds that had made a home in the banks of the ditch across my balcony, I could not ignore them; and it soon became a routine to watch out for them. The leap of heart that followed each time I saw them come and go about their daily lives remains with me even after three decades of the event and serves as a mood elevator in times of despondency. But more about that later…….

We were at the point where making a list of things that touch you or make you happy or simply brighten your day begins with being a cumbersome, focused, high energy activity but becomes second nature with the passage of time. What does this achieve? Two things:

One – that you begin to see all that is right around you [and there is soooo much of that: health, family, enough money to live by, a job, a home, conveniences……each one of us will have some of these things, if not all, and then the seemingly meaningless things I listed earlier like the beautiful sunrise or chirping of birds at dawn or the unsullied green of budding leaves on a tree or the light breeze that caresses your cheek or the tune of a long forgotten but once loved song or a happy memory…….]

Two – that having begun the habit of noticing the good things around you makes you happy and grateful and brings a spring to your step. “My heart leaps up when I behold a rainbow in the sky.” It creates a positive mind set and makes you more receptive to change. And change after all is life: what goes up must come down and what goes down must come up.

The ability to be happy is the best tool granted to us to weather the bad times and moderate the good times. There are those that even this minute are going through crises of different sorts: life threatening disease, divorce, loss of a loved one, and the scores of evil that have hit us all in this economic downturn. Is it alright to be happy at such times?

Time they say is a great healer and the way this works is that Time puts a distance between us and the distressing event; this distance helps us develop the psyche to take things in the right perspective. That is how Time Heals; the pain remains but one learns how to handle it. The point to ponder is how does one behave in the interim period? Does it help to keep crying, to be negative, and to become a cynic and so on? Or is it better to let the bruised mind rest on these gentle aspects of nature and art and positive mindfulness and cultivate a mindset that embraces tolerance and forgiveness for self and others? Poets have often exhorted us to move on [3]:

“That though the radiance which was once so bright be now forever taken from my sight.

Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass, glory in the flower.

We will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind.”

And in the celebrated “Daffodils” [4]:

I WANDER’D lonely as a cloud that floats on high o’er vales and hills,

When all at once I saw a crowd, a host, of golden daffodils;

Beside the lake, beneath the trees, fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine and twinkle on the Milky Way,

They stretch’d in never-ending line along the margin of a bay:

Ten thousand saw I at a glance, tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:

A poet could not but be gay, in such a jocund company:

I gazed – and gazed – but little thought what wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie in vacant or in pensive mood,

They flash upon that inward eye which is the bliss of solitude;

And then my heart with pleasure fills, and dances with the daffodils.

Now do you see what I am getting at with making that list? As you gather each pearl, the wealth that this creates within you will act as the bliss of solitude and a balm for troubled days and ship you across the stormy waters of life with serenity and poise. Each time the negatives pull, flashback to a happy image or happier times. You will feel the emotion rush with the same intensity; let the flood of serotonin wash away the negativity.

John Maxwell’s maxim that ‘Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it’ puts the ball, so to speak, in our own court. We have to take responsibility for how we live life; things that are out of our control will happen all the time. But what tilts the scale is what we choose to make of these. Should we drown in them or should we keep afloat with hope till the tide turns?

In choosing the latter, the small things of life matter the most. The minutes or seconds spent in quiet and peace and feeling good will ‘…fill the present day with joy, and overspread the future years with hope.’ [5]

Cultivating the habit of noticing the things that are right with God’s world will change your thinking ®

                your words ®

your actions ®

your habits ®

your character ®

and then who knows, maybe your destiny?

Life as they say is the result of the choices we make…….choose to make the right choice…from today. Choose to be happy, no matter what; notice the li’l things and treasure them forever. Consciously develop an attitude of gratitude. Be Happy!!!

–  Neeta Seth

References:

1.       John Milton, Paradise Regained

2.       William Wordsworth

3.       William Wordsworth, Ode on Intimations of Immortality

4.       William Wordsworth (1804)

5.       William Wordsworth

The working life span of a productive individual is marked by job changes.  Every move to a new organization begins with the crafting of a resume.  The resume is what first introduces you to the new company.  It reflects you; how organized you are, how educated, how correct for the job, how so-many-other-attributes that will kindle in the reader a desire to meet you in person.  It is obvious, this piece of paper is not to be taken lightly.

So, what goes into making a good resume?  Some essentials are listed here:

1.       A resume should contain ALL information that is relevant to the job you are interested in.  It is not a fact sheet of your life and hobbies; it is not necessary to include every little thing you have done to date.

2.       The information in a resume should be in inverse chronological order with the most recent or current job coming first.  Clearly mention name of the company you are/were working in with location (city, state) and name of your position including joining and leaving month, year.

3.       In each job you have held in your professional life, there would be any number of responsibilities that you shouldered.  It is judicious to describe these in a manner that conveys the scope of your work.  It should not, however, bore the reader with obvious and inconsequential details, such as “Kept track of coming and going time of all staff; noted absence; maintained details in a separate register; and discussed with Boss at the end of the month.”  Simply say: Provided managerial assistance with regard to staff attendance.

4.       It is not necessary to include details such as Father’s Name; Gender; Marital Status; or the career graph of progenies!!  Mailing address, phone, and email contacts may be added on top of the first page below the name; and date of birth, interests, and references (available on request) can be added to the end of the resume.

5.       The type of job you are applying for can be mentioned on the first page, below the address bar.  This could be “Sales and Marketing Professional,” “Software Engineer,” or “Retail Manager;” this can be in bigger font than the text.

6.       Next, provide a summary of your skills that highlights your strengths.  There is no need to mention what you are looking for; the hiring company is only interested in knowing what you can do for them.  The question you are answering here is why they should consider hiring you.

7.       This section is followed by a section on Experience (if you have work experience of more than five years) or Education (if you have graduated in the last five years.)

8.       In Education section, provide name/s of college with location and name of degree/s (graduate and/or post graduate) received, including the year of completion.  Also mention ranking or class position, if it is noteworthy; any awards or commendations received that may reflect leadership; or any other talent, academic or non-academic.

9.       In Experience section, begin with current position and describe in detail your responsibilities, as well as any commendations you may have received.  While most emphasis has to be given to the current position, the earlier positions should be elaborated upon as well but keeping in mind the requirements of the new job you are applying for.  For example, an engineer who has completed an MBA in Finance and seeking a change of job into the management cadre of a finance company would do well to keep his engineering experience succinct and to the point and highlight all managerial aspects of previous work positions.

10.   If there are more than four work positions, please keep the descriptions of the oldest very brief.  But in case there was some work done in that old job that was unique and not done in later positions, do take care to describe it.

11.   The end of the resume is for additional information, including any courses you may have completed to complement your work profile, your language skills, computer proficiency, date of birth, and lastly references.

12.   It is advisable to mention ‘References: Available on request’ in the resume.  The details of your references can be provided once the selection procedure has arrived to a stage where you are actively under consideration.  At that point, before providing names and contacts of different persons, it is necessary to call these persons, tell them you are applying for a new job and inform them that someone from the new office may contact them to speak about you.

13.   Last but not the least, try to keep the resume on a single page; no one has time to read more.  The top half of page one is what is crucial.  Only if it holds the reader’s interest will he go ahead; if not, it will be the dustbin for your resume.

14.   Traditionally accepted fonts are Times New Roman; Trebuchet MS; Garamond; or Palantino Linotype.  Font size should not be less that 10.5 and not above 11.5; 11 TNR is most used.

15.   Use bullets and sub bullets to describe work profile; it also makes data organized and easy to read.  Whether you justify text or not is your choice.

16.   Always use active words and avoid superlatives and bombastic expressions.  Categorized List of Action Verbs is available on http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/543/02/

17.   Use one word to replace three; keep it brief without eliminating useful data.

18.   Pay attention to green lines when typing on MS Word; make efforts to turn in an error-free copy: grammar wise as well as regarding spelling and punctuations.

19.   The crafting of a resume is really simple if you keep these points in mind.

20.   Study sample resumes on: http://www.sampleresumes.in/ before starting your own.

21.   Common errors to avoid: http://www.perfectediting.com/resumetips/resume-mistakes.htm

22.   Also look up:

http://www.youthcentral.vic.gov.au/Jobs+&+Careers/Applying+for+jobs/How+to+write+a+resume/

Remember George Orwell’s elementary rules of writing:

Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.

Never use a long word where a short one will do.

If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.

Never use the passive where you can use the active.

Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.

Good wishes for your job hunt!